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August 11 sad and frustratedToday is the first day I've had to sit down and write my first blog. I have had so much crap going on its not even funny. One of my little chinchillas died last Sunday and it has been upsetting.
 He died really slow and the longer he laid still the more the kids thought he would recover. Eventually after a few long hours he quit breathing. I realizedin trying to deal with my childrens emotions that this was the first pet I had lost as well. I had several dogs run off and found out that they had died but never an animal that had died in front of me. i don't think that I did very good in dealing with the situation. In my house we have developed a terrible habit of turning grief into anger. I thought I'd deal with situations as this in a much different way. I believe that I 've been under too much stress lately and need to find a way to put my life on a different track. I need to find the person that I used to be when I was happier.  Being so sad and depressed has led me to yelling at my children. I really hate that since my children are the most important people in my life and I thought I'd be a much better mother than I have been so far.Onto a new chapter in our lives: My oldest child will enter the 6th grade this year and will nodoubtingly go through many changes. One thing that is already started to change is his attitude, for the worse I might add.
 He was the sweetest most considerate child that was so compassionate toward others until the last year or so. It has really put us at odds with each other and I loose my temper with him on a much too frequent basis. I am the parent who has more patience and always smoothes the situation over. However, lately I have not been able to be "that" parent and my husband has absolutely no patience what so ever and life in this house has been really hard for all of us. I hope that now school is strting back that we will all find our footing and find some way to start getting along as a family better. Well it's tiem for a shower and to take care of all that today has in store for me. Oh yeh, the mother-in-law is on her way for the weekend since my son will be turning  12 tomorrow. That's a whole other story for some other time. Man I really feel old and that's not helping with my depression situation. Inever thought three kids could take up all of your time. It's all I can do to find time for a shower. Well it's off to another day of starting slow and finishing last. If you have some feedback on my problems I'd love a response just so i know someone has read my thoughts. Have a good day!  TrackbacksThe trackback URL for this entry is: http://cnlbarrett.spaces.live.com/blog/cns!A3683B4F7F28A7AE!298.trak Weblogs that reference this entry
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